Sex is an incredibly intimate act that requires participants to open up and be vulnerable with one another. Truly amazing sex only happens when that sense of vulnerability is not just physical but emotional as well. Opening yourself up to another person that intimately can be a terrifying yet rewarding process – but being open and vulnerable isn’t the only requirement to having great sex.
Being confident in the bedroom is more than just being sure of your technique; it’s trusting your partner with your pleasure. Despite how hard people try, even the most loving relationships can falter here. Perhaps you accidentally said something that hit a nerve, or maybe your partner has yet to fully open up with you due to their own past.
Whatever the case, boosting her confidence in the bedroom means improving her confidence in you as well as in herself. Though not extensive, these top tips are a great place to get started if you want to help bolster her confidence and increase feelings of trust:
1. Be More Vocal About Your Compliments
Compliments are an ideal way to boost anyone’s confidence but don’t just focus on how she looks or how sexy you find her. Self-confidence is multi-layered, and for the best results, it’s a great idea to compliment all aspects of her – from her personality to her skillset to, of course, her bedroom capabilities.
2. Let Her Have Control
If she has a hard time letting go or getting out of her head, then try to let her take control. This can easily be done by switching positions or using exciting toys like strap-on dildos from sites like wetforher.com. How she takes control should be up to her so that she feels comfortable being active about both her own and your pleasure.
3. Worship Her Body
Extending foreplay is a great way to make her feel like she is beautiful and wanted. However, rather than just extending foreplay around the genital area, focus on her entire body. Find the secret spots she doesn’t know about, worship each dip and divot, and make her tingle from inside and out before you get to the main attraction.
4. Watch Porn Together
Finding the right type of porn that appeals to you both is key to this tip. Not only will watching porn together help enhance arousal, but it’s also a good place to find ideas that you can try out.
Porn is also a good way to simplify asking for new things or to act out certain fantasies since you can simply point it out when it comes on screen and say, “I want to try that.” If she’s had a hard time in the past expressing her desires, sometimes having a visual aid like this can be just what she needs to get what she wants.
When a past history is what’s keeping her from enjoying herself more in bed, you are going to need to talk about it. A bad relationship or a strict upbringing can both severely impact a person’s relationship with their body and sex.
By talking, you can air it out, make a plan if necessary, and start to build up her self-confidence with a targeted approach. It may not be sexy, but your partner needs to trust you with these topics before she’ll be able to fully let go.